College Talk Show Gone Horrobly Wrong
by zeratul-darktemplarofshak
Summary: This is about all the main characters from the game FF VIII


Open Mic With:Zell Dinch  
  
Zell "Good evening! Today our guest is Seifer Almasy. Give him a hand!"  
  
Seifer slowly walks out onto stage and sits down.  
  
Crowd "WWWHHHOOOOO!"  
  
Zell " Welcome Seifer. Now why is it you only use a gunblade? Is it because your compensating for something?"  
  
Seifer " yeah, for something you weren't born with."  
  
Zell " ....Next we have Squal... SECURITY! Get That son of a bitch outa here!"  
  
Seifer "Get off of me! HELP HELP! I'm being reapressed! RAPE! RAPE! Aaaaaahhhhhhh aaaahhhhhh my man hood!  
  
As seifer gets pulled off stage.  
  
Seifer "aaaaaaaaahhhhhhhh.ooooooooohhhhhhhhhh I like that.!"  
  
Security" shut up! GET OUT! And don't ever come back!"  
  
Squal walks out on stage.  
  
Audience clapping  
  
Squal" Shut up before I cut you all up and.  
  
Zell" hey Squal have a seat and shut up!"  
  
Squal whispers "asshole"  
  
Zell"I heard that!"  
  
Squal" You were supposed to dumbass"  
  
Zell"Hey!Now let's bring out Quisitis Trape"  
  
Zell" Now let's give a hand to Quisitis, My instructor....hey wait a minuet, don't give her a hand she gave me a failing grade on my performance test didn't you Quisitis."  
  
Quisitis" I couldn't have given you a failing grade last week I was sleeping with seifer that night."  
  
Seifer" Yah, I banged you quissy! Hehehe"  
  
Squal" you bitch, I thought you were done with him!"  
  
Squal starts fighting with quisitis.  
  
Zell:" Next we have Irvine ..Give him a hand!"  
  
Ribbit..Ribbit  
  
Zell" Where in the hell is he?"  
  
**As the curtains backstage open, they reveal Selphie propped up an a table while Irvine is kissing her**  
  
Zell:" Cough..COUGH !Get the hell off eachother and sit the hell down!"  
  
Irvine" What ever."  
  
Selphie and Irivine walk out and sit down  
  
1 audience member yells" Come on don't stop, keep going!"  
  
** Irvine pulls out gun and shoots audience member**  
  
Irvine" that will tech you never to yell at a lady"  
  
Zell" Alright let's take a brake before this place becomes a shooting range. We'll be right back stay tooned! Can we get some coffee!"  
  
Staff member walks out and hands everyone a coffee.  
  
** Apparently no-one knew Irvine couldn't have coffee because it makes him hyper and Irvine start's swinging his cowboy hat in the air**  
  
Irvine" This is fun!" ** Pulls out gun and shoots ceiling** ** Piece of ceiling falls on Selphie knocking her un-concious.**  
  
Zell" SHIT! SECURITY! Get the man with the gun!"** As zell ducks under table**  
  
** Irvine still shooting the ceiling, security tackles him to the ground**  
  
Stage Manager" Call 9-1-1!"  
  
Show goes back on air as Selphie is being put on a stretcher, bleeding from the fore-head, while Irvine is being arrested on stage  
  
Zell" Welcome back! As you can see we've had a bit of an accident"  
  
Squal" That's an understatement"  
  
Zell" Let's meet Rajin"  
  
** Rajin walks out and slides on Selphies blood. Rajin gets up and yells:**  
  
Rajin" SHIT! It's happened, I'm having my PERIOD ya'h know!"  
  
Quisitis" That only happens to women jack ass"  
  
Rajin" Thank-god ya'h know"  
  
Zell" Now lets also bring out Fujin"  
  
** As Fajin walks out on stage, the floor breaks under her and she falls on a pile of instruments in the basement**  
  
Rajin" SWEET JESUS! Ya'h know"  
  
Zell" Let's take a small break!"  
  
Zell" Let's finish the show cause' it seems like the prop is turning to shit and KILLING PEOPLE! Oh boy I'm ruined imagine the law suites, I need to get out of town"  
  
** Zell calls for his private limo and gets a plane to Hawaii**  
  
Zell" So long SUCKERS!"  
  
** As Zell gets into his limo, Zell forgets to buckle up, and the Ambulance coming for Fujin hit's Zell's limo, sending him soaring out of the windshield of the limo and into the back of a truck loaded with rat traps**  
  
Stage Manager" Who's will finish the show?"  
  
Squall" I guess I will, since It seems like Zell is kindda trapped at the moment. Now as you can see behind me,** Paramedics trying to revive Fujin, and trying to save Zell from the trap of death** fighting does not lead any where, so do each other a favor and don't fight. Take care of your family and each other. Good bye"  
  
**Camera zooms out and stops tapping.** The End whaddya think?  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
Zell" let's stop the show for tonight before this ends up like Jerry Springer! See you all tomorrow night when we have the M&M brothers! GoodNight everyone!"  
  
Squal kicks zell and so zell starts biting squals leg 


End file.
